I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
