he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
