Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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