first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
