I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
