Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
