hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When are your genitals available?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
