no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
