I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
