my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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