i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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