i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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