I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
