i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
