end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
