I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
