Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
