I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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