xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
