bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
