please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
