She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm both gender and math confused
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
