Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
