boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize