at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
