You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bring me that man meat
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize