Redeem this text for a blowjob
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
