She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
