with your own penis?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
