Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize