Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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