Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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