That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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