Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
