you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
