How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize