When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
ttyl tear gas
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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