Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
