dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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