and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
