we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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