He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize