I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
