Your dad touched me again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
