Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
