you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
