I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
