we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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