I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
