guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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