you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
