just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
as a side note pls kill me
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