If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My vagina is officially offended.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
