she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
