i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
