Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
