Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
