I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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