Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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