First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
