hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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