I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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