This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
