Umm I'm too high to move.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
