Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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