Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
