You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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