Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
