areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
