And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
