this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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