I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
