dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
worst night to have a conscience
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
