you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
