he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
