I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
